Blow (Dry, that is)

While Tabitha’s Salon Takeover is in re-runs, I’ve had to go elsewhere to get my hair salon fix. There are quite a few movies deal with the subject of getting your hair did. It all started, back in 1975, with Warren Beatty in Shampoo. Then you have your trailer/beauty salon in Steel Magnolias. And of course the slew of nearly indistinguishable Beauty Parlor movies starring Queen Latifah, Vivica A. Fox, and my girl Mo’Nique, now showing on BET about women who finally open their own salon only to have circumstance or some trifling ho try to take it away from them, but in the end they prevail. Let’s not forget all those Barbershop movies, either.

But I am happy to announce that I have found, quite possibly, the best hair movie of all. For me to call something the best, you know it has to be seriously ridiculous. It’s called Blow Dry. Apparently it came out in 2001, but that’s news to me. It combines the best of the Salon genre, with the best of the Competition film genre (think Best in Show but with people instead of dogs). It’s a movie about a hair competition (Mo’Nique sit down girl. Yes, I know that’s what your movie was about. This one came out first. Sit your ass down!) from the same director who brought us The Full Monty.

Here’s an overview of the plot: Britain’s (oh, did I mention it’s a British movie?) top hair competition comes to a small town where, former champion and competition drop out Phil (played by Alan Rickman) runs a small barbershop with his son (Josh Hartnett). His ex-wife (Natasha Richardson) and her lesbian lover/ Phil’s former hair model Sandra (Rachel Griffiths) run a salon across town. Natasha Richardson wants the whole family (not currently on speaking terms) to enter the competition like old times, but Phil refuses. Phil has to face his past as Ray Robertson (Bill Nighy- for those of you who don’t know him by name, he’s the rock star from Love Actually), the current champion will win at any cost. Things get complicated when Ray’s daughter Christina (Rachael Leigh Cook) reunites with Josh Hartnett, her childhood crush.

Now, let me just say, that this movie is sublime. Josh Hartnett with his fake British accent and his big puppy dog eyes is so damn cute you want to pinch him, although, what he is doing in this movie is anyone’s guess. Rachael Leigh Cook, is, as usual, so robotic you want to slap her. Bill Nighy is unbelievably charismatic as usual, and wears more glitter in his hair than kindergartners spill on the floor during craft hour. There’s enough drama and star power that the movie could sail by just on that. But, if it did, I wouldn’t be writing about it…

Did I mention that Heidi Klum has a supporting role? Not only does she get some serious screen time, but at one point, and I don’t want to ruin it, but… she wears a merkin. For those of you unacquainted with this term, a merkin is a pubic wig. But wait for it… the merkin is in the shape of a giant red heart. And, the “Total Look” created for the end of the competition is absolutely surreal and involves a skull tattoo, a lot of gold leaf and a hair topiary. Also, Josh Hartnett has a part time job styling the hair of the deceased at the local funeral parlor, which is just about my all time favorite movie job.

Any movie that sets a love scene in a funeral home gets two thumbs up from me.