Everyone I talk to seems to be stressed out these days, from the collection agents for my student loans to the collection agents for my credit cards. What I need is a good beach vacation. Unfortunately, MasterCard isn’t in the mood to indulge needs like plane tickets or groceries, so a beach vacation is as likely to happen as finally getting that call back from America’s Next Top Model.
I was treating myself to Trader Joe’s the other day, and since it is a luxury for me to be in any kind of store at the moment, I thought I’d buy something frivolous. I stopped by the “beauty” department, which, as one could rightly expect from the hippie-world-savers at Trader Joe’s, is paltry at best and literally shoved into a corner. Then I saw them… on the shelf under the organic toothpaste and next to ylang-ylang acne treatment oil, were giant Noxema-sized jars of Sugar Scrub.
Now, I had recently been toying with the idea of making my own Sugar Scrub, for profit, naturally, because if I’m going to go to the effort of making something, I’m going to make a lot of it and sell it at an escalated price to people who aren’t imaginative or resourceful enough to do it themselves. But I’m lazy enough to recognize the merits of letting Trader Joe’s make it for me, and besides, they had the most wonderful concoctions like relax: lavender, and purify: tangerine, and the price… a whopping $6.49. Thank you Sugar Daddy.
After torturing myself by watching a marathon of beach vacation shows on the Travel Channel while blustery “spring” winds whipped around outside, I thought I’d float away in a nice hot bath and dream myself to the beach (also because I wanted to try my delicious new sugar scrub). Here is my recipe for the perfect bath: First, clean the tub (because a dirty bathtub is not a place I can relax), and fill it with scalding hot water. Then, if you’re out of bubble bath, just use body wash… I figure if the water is already filled with soap, you don’t have to do anything to clean yourself beyond just lying there.
As the bathtub filled, I excitedly opened the jar of Tangerine Sugar Scrub. The scent was lively and sweet, and the crystals of sugar were super-fine and delicately luxurious. I sugar scrubbed my whole body (which, to my delight, barely made a dent in the humongous jar of perfumed sugar) and stepped into the steaming hot foamy bath water. And then the most amazing thing happened. The product worked. As I washed off the sugar, my skin was as soft and smooth as a baby dolphin’s bottom. And feeling like a dolphin made me feel like I was at the beach. And feeling like I was at the beach made me happy.
Now if only those new razor/vibrators were more affordable… (the people who invented them are geniuses and should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, by the way). But, after all, this gal is on a budget. Someone should tell Robert Plant you can buy a stairway to heaven… and it only costs $6.49.
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